Patience and Prayer

For those who know me, know that well..... I am so not a patient person. But God has taught me that sometimes the best thing to be is patient. I was not ready at 18 to be married, nor was I at 25. When all sorts of people I knew were getting married and settling down, I was well Single. Most of the time, completely content, but at the same time impatient for the man I knew God had out there for me. And well I did eventually get to meet him, fall in love and marry him. Matt is everything I could ever want in a spouse and he is my rock. God knew I needed someone that had amazing patience that we would need in the years to come. Matt and I both come from believing families and we met at church. He is the spiritual leader of our home just as God has willed him to be. Matt and I celebrated our 2nd year of Marriage April 4th and it was amazing. But at the same time a crossroads for us. Since January of the year before we have been trying to have a baby. We are looking forward to bringing life into this world, and raising them in the same loving and belief driven homes we grew up in.

Not long after we started our baby journey, we learned that I have PCOS. Poly cystic Ovary Disease, is essentially as I understand it a disease in which your bodies hormones are out of balance. This causes many problems, including difficulty getting pregnant. So we tried with the help of a very nice and wonderful Nurse Practitioner and Doctor, thru the use of a medicine called Clomid to get pregnant. Now fast forward to last month towards the end. We still have had no luck with the medicine, so we were recommended to a Fertility Specialist. Which of course made my heart drop. All I could think is how can we afford this. When I called they said that the consultation would be $400.00, I thought this is never going to happen, but gave her my insurance information and Matt and I prayed that if we were meant to go to this doctor that the visit would be under $50.00, and just as it happens God answers prayers and through the fact I am on Matt's insurance as well as my own, the visit was only $40.00.

Dr. Zamah is an amazing doctor and we had our consultation with him and a few tests done. Just when we felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel, we were zapped back to earth. During my test on Monday, Dr. Zamah discovered that my right Fallopian tube is blocked. With this said, I was in shock. So often feeling like nothing was going our way or was going to be easy. Then today the biggest shocker came when Dr. Zamah told me that I needed to loose 65lbs. before he would do surgery and before assisting us to get pregnant he wanted me to loose 115lbs. To people not in this situation they can not completely understand how my feet were pulled out from under me. 115lbs, is not a walk in the park nor is it easy to even fathom achieving. But thru God and the loving support I am going to do this. And we will succeed one way or the other. Either I will get preggos or I will get to be a healthy and a wonderful mother to the child we decide to adopt. I know that God will provide a child for us one way or the other and that I have to be strong and keep faith.

He is always there for me and always will be. I can't thank God enough for sending me such a loving and compassionate man to be there holding my hand as we begin this journey. Until then, I will continue to be a happy mommy to my amazing dog Tango and cat Meow!