Whats that you smell..... Not me!!!

LOL, yes definitely a weird title for a post. But yeah I smelled not so fresh the last couple of days. Mainly due to the fact today was the first day I could shower since the surgery. Its definitely hard to wash your hair primarily one handed, but I did. In fact I washed it twice, it had felt so gross.

Matt helped me take the huge gauze thing off my shoulder this morning. I no longer look like 1/2 linebacker. My shoulder is very sore today, I dunno if its because I can move it a little more freely without all the stuff on me or if I am just moving it to much. I am trying not to use it.

I took a nap in my bed today, that was such a nice change. I really have missed sleeping in the bed instead of the recliner. The recliner is comfy to a point, but after awhile its hard to sleep sitting up. Tango has again not left my side today. He is doing such a good job taking care of me.

I go to the Doctor tomorrow morning, its my post op visit. This will be hopefully the visit when he tells me when I can return to work and also return to getting my exercise on. I never would have thought I would be looking forward to getting back to exercising. But I am, to a point. I am ready to keep this weight loss going.

Matt has been working really late the last 2 nites, poor guy has so much to make up with being gone Monday and Tuesday. And since its the end of quarter for him, he is also going to be working really late tomorrow. I feel really bad for him. He is an amazing man and such a hard worker.

Our 3 year anniversary from our first date is Sunday. Its hard to believe 3 years ago was the first date with my amazing husband. Sigh... time flies when you are in love. :)

Well I am done prattling on and on, hope you all have blessed days!

I'm feeling a little gimpy today!

This is a process trying to type this out. I am not 100% with it today but I am making due. That and I am typing mainly one handed. Okay so like the whole way one handed but still its progress, that its me writing this and not my wonderful and yes extremely funny husband.

I am alive and doing good. And now my ear is no longer numb from the nerve blocker, but part of my left jaw, neck and shoulder are. So much for it only last 24hours. My Tango has taken such good care of me today. He has pretty much not left my side. My wonderful husband moved a recliner upstairs for me so we could sleep in the same room, and Tango has been sitting under the foot rest all morning. He is such a doll baby.

I have kept myself entertained with TV, Movies, and any games that involve just a mouse click. Cause that is something I can do one handed. I can tell I am still on the mend and my body is still healing because I find myself sleeping a whole lot.

The pain meds making me tired and upset my tummy a lot. But I am pushing through. God has blessed me with such a wonderful husband who takes care of me no complaints and wonderful family and friends who have been praying for me and have been so supportive. Love ya all!

I will hopefully be on my feet soon and ready to go! I hope you all have a blessed day!

Matt again

I would like to start off by thanking everyone for their thoughts and prayers.  It has been a rough couple of days but I've been able to pull through.  Oh, and Dana is doing all right as well.  Tango and I are very refreshed today as we had the bed to ourselves last night (after her surgery, Dana had to sleep upright on a recliner).  Tango has only slept 6-8 hours today as opposed to his usual 10-12.  Dana has been doing much better today.  She is still experiencing some discomfort but not as much as yesterday.  Her face is still a little numb from the nerve block.  She took it pretty easy on day two, watching a couple of movies and staying in all day.  She has one more day before we take the bandages off her shoulder.  We are anticipating her follow-up appointment with her doctor Friday to see what he has to say.  Dana will face a challenge as I head back to work tomorrow.  In my absence, Tango is going to be in charge of his mommy.  Hopefully she will do all right and will be able to post on her blog soon enough.  Have a good day and thanks for reading our post.

I'm Alive

Well this is going to take awhile to type and it may be a bit gibberish. I think I am going to have Matt take over.

This is Matt taking over:

Surgery went good.  They gave Dana a pain blocker so right now her left side is really numb.  Everything went OK except she experience some nausea after her surgery.  There was no tear on her shoulder, just a lot of inflammation.  Dana can't have solid foods for a day.  She's been kinda whiny, but what else is new?  Dana has been a little out of it (more than usual at least).  We would like to thank everyone for their prayers.  I didn't feel any pain through the whole process.  Hopefully soon Dana will be able to get on her and post herself, although I think I'm doing a pretty good job!  Have a good day.

Sweet Sunday

Had a wonderful time yesterday with Matt, we walked at least a mile, which a month ago I couldn't have done without my back hurting! So it was so nice to be able to just get out and walk. We enjoyed walking around Town Centre Plaza and just having a quiet time. My best friend Beth met up with us to walk for a bit and we went to the California Pizza Kitchen. It was so yummy! I had the BLT pizza with avocado on it, and I dipped it in a little ranch. It was so so so so so so so so yummy! Then Matt and I had some frozen yogurt and went home. I had a wonderful time!

I loved church this morning! Pastor Phil is amazing and his lesson was so interesting. It was mainly for parents, but Matt and I will someday be parents, so it was a good lesson to learn. Sunday School was really good too, it was so nice to be back in church. I miss it so much when I cant be there!

Tonite we have Connection Groups I am really looking forward to getting together with other believers and fellowshiping with them. We are grilling, and I can have a burger no bun and I am bringing salad. I got right back on my diet today, so many times wish I didn't have too. But I know that I want to have a baby and be healthy for one, so I am going to do this.

I promise and explained to Matt he will have to update this tomorrow. So it will get updated after my surgery tomorrow. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday!

And the Grand total is.....

-4.2 lbs for a grand total of 20lbs in 2 weeks. Yes 20lbs!!!! Wohoo as Aleasa says! I am super excited and so happy to have reached my month long goal in 2 weeks. I know it wont always be this easy, but it feels good! It also means I can get my special of Warehouse 13 season 2 on DVD Tuesday. This will be nice since Matt will be such a sweetie to go pick it up.

I am really happy I made my goal already, cause I know for the next week or two I won't feel like working out. But I plan on sticking to my diet and that should help me maintain if not loose a few more lbs here and there.

I am thinking that Matt will have to take over writing my blog for a few days, or at least typing what I say :) starting Monday night. I am so super excited to keep sharing with you all how much God is blessing us and what we are going through.

Just found out yesterday from Matt that when he asked him boss if his job does any compensation for adoption, she told him that she thought our insurance covered invitro. This would be huge for us if it does, cause then just maybe we will get to have a little baby that is 100% made up of Matt and Dana. We are so thankful for even this glimmer of hope and know that it comes from our faith in God and the faith to follow the path he desires of us.

I hope you all have a wonderful Saturday. I am getting ready to go garage selling with the hubby and then on to California Pizza Kitchen for dinner! I am so ready for some pizza!!!! Smile!

A wonderful Friday

Today was a wonderful and care free Friday. Sorry I forgot to post yesterday. When I woke up this morning I was like Dang I forgot to post yesterday. Matt and I went to dinner last night, it was nice. Cept so totally unfair. :) I had to eat a salad and he got to eat buffalo wild wings. I am just kidding he loves his wings, he calls them his crack! LOL, such a dork. But I did good, I ate my salad with grilled chicken on it, and light dressing. It was a nice time.  I find we are growing bored always eating at home, we loved to eat out and plus it was nice for him not to eat all the same things I have too. He doesn't complain but I know he really misses tacos, spaghetti, and other stuff.

We went to the pool today, I got to float around in the lazy river for like 2 hours. It was so nice, I also walked it for a bit to get a little exercise. I love the pool, I am so bummed that, that's the last trip for the summer. That's okay next summer I will have hopefully lost at least my 115lbs and will be a babe in my swimsuit by then. LOL, yeah I am silly. Also my arm will hopefully be healed fully and we can go to a water park. I am also looking forward to doing Worlds of Fun next year. As much as I am sure I could go now, I just don't have the energy and my weight is an issue with my back hurting awhile walking. It sucks, but we are fixing that.

We just got home from taking Tango to the dog park with my sister, her dogs, and moo-moo. We had a lot of fun. I can tell my body is getting better because usually by one time walking around I am tuckered this time I wasn't, I could have gone alot longer but Tango was tuckered out. Oh and I can also tell I am loosing weight cause my pants are starting to sag and sit on my hips. I can take my button up jeans off without up buttoning them. I am super excited!!!

I am really excited to go to church on Sunday, it feels like it has been forever. Which I guess it has been awhile. I am also looking forward to Connection Groups. Of course cause of my diet, I will be eating a really big salad. But I will survive. Besides I am looking forward to the fellowship with other believers, I really enjoy spending time with the amazing group of people in our Connection Group.

God is so amazing, he is so magnificent and wonderful. I love to just sometimes to stop and think about how he created everything. And yes I am overweight, but its so amazing to think that he created me and loves me just the way I am. I am so thankful for all that God has provided me in my life and I want to give so much more back to him. I want to get healthy to be around to talk to my children about him and to go on missions trips and help wherever I can. I know God will keep me strong and that I can do this with him. I stop and think multiple times a day that I can do this cause God is not going to give up on me. He has blessed me with such an amazing support group of family and friends to keep me strong and pushing forward. Thanks God!!!

Tommorrow is the big weight in, I am nervous but so excited. I know that I will not loose 15.8lbs, but I will be happy with whatever it is. Have a wonderful night all!!!

Last Day with Tina for awhile :(

Today was my last workout session with Tina until the Doctor gives me approval to go back after shoulder surgery Monday. I can actually say that I was bummed not to be able to workout with her 2 days a week. She keeps me motivated and on track! Your the best Tina!

I was able to talk to one of the nurses at the Doctors office today to find out how long I will be out from work. She said that after talking to him it will probably be more like 2 weeks to 3 weeks then just one week. I figure whatever it takes for my arm to heal, I will handle it.

My sister and I took Aleasa to the pool today. I very much enjoyed floating around the lazy river since I can't swim. This will probably be my only pool trip with Aleasa this year and I am bummed. Last year we went 4 or 5 times. She is so much fun to watch in the water, she loves it. She kept yelling woohoo! It was so cute!

I am supposed to update Dr. Zamah on my progress. I haven't yet, but I am sure he will be surprised with my weightloss so far. I figured I would update him once a month, so I am going to wait until at least next week, if not 2 more since this is only my 2nd week on the diet plan.

The Lord keeps blessing us in so many ways. And I am beginning to more and more realize that this is all in his timing and that when Baby Hobbs is ready to join us it will be at the perfect time. Bless you all!

Another day another salad.....

Sigh... A piece of chocolate sounds so good right now. But I am being strong in Christ and making sure that I don't waiver. No Chocolate for me, but oh it sounds so good. I must say I have been really surprised at how I am not really craving a huge amount of things. Breakfast and Lunch are easy, but when it comes to Dinner its the pits. I love my Mexican food and Italian. And Matt really wants me to make meatball subs, but of course he understands that I cant have those right now. He is amazing!

Today was my last day of work until the Doctor tells me I can return after my surgery Monday. I have been a little nervous this past day or two just cause I didn't realize how long it can take to recover. So much that I will not be able to do this summer. But on a positive note, my hubby is taking me to Summit Waves Friday to float in the lazy river. Since I can't swim, but I love to float. :) Then Saturday we are going to Town Centre Plaza and to the California Pizza Kitchen. I love walking around the Town Centre Plaza in Ks, and going into all the shops. I am a window shopper. And then on to the best cheat night dinner ever, BLT with avocado pizza! Its so yummy!

Hope you all have a blessed day! Tomorrow is workout number 2 of the week, I am looking forward to it. I am trying to stay pumped! Its also my last one with Tina until the Doctor frees me to go back. Love ya all!

Happy Monday All!

Today was a very wonderful day! I enjoyed work and then after had a workout with Tina. She works me really hard but I still had fun. I am tired but I think that each week will get easier.

Matt had a big move at work today, they moved from tower 2 to tower 1. He says the air conditioning makes alot of noise in his new tower. Poor Guy, he is so cute!

I talked to the Surgery Center today, for my post opp walk through. Man they ask alot of very personal questions and want to know a lot of medical history. Thankfully it was all No's but it was interesting. The best part was when she asked what I weighed. Cause on my sheet it says 314, but we all know that its 298.2 so that was a blast. I almost said I lost 15.8lbs in a week. But I didn't wanna gloat. All though I really feel like shouting it from the roof tops. :) 

The negative of the whole conversation was that I will be in a sling that will keep me immobilized on the left side for I have no idea how long. I had no idea that they were going to do this. Such a bummer. It will be ok though, cause I look forward to being able to wash my hair without being in pain. I don't think I am asking to much. :)

God shows me how often I am blessed, I am blessed to have all of you, my friends and family who read my blog. I had no idea how many people were praying for me, and I feel honored that so many of you care. God has truly blessed me with so many amazing people in my life! Have wonderful day!

Week 1 done, now on to week 2

I must say I now realize how much my life has revolved around food. It still does to a degree, but I do very much focus on that of yumminess! I did very much enjoy my cheat meal yesterday. Matt and I got Houlihans to go and I ate my Chipolte Chicken Nachos on my own. It was so yummy! But when I woke up this morning I was ready to go and back to my diet. Its definitely getting a little bit easier everyday. I did 10 squats today, suggested by my co worker Connie. She said if I do this everyday my body will be come used to it, and I wont have as much pain. I think tonite Matt and I will take Tango on a walk after dinner with my family for fathers day. I am looking forward to my walk and the excitement we will see on my Tangos face! He loves walks!

My family is so awesome and supportive. They are grilling tonite, and I will be able to take my turkey burgers and have a yummy turkey burger with them. :) I think I am going to make a big salad to take with me and maybe a fruit salad. I will have my whole family eating super healthy in no time. :)

Today is Fathers day and I am reminded over and over about how wonderful my dad is and how blessed I am to have him. It also makes me think of how wonderful my husband is with our meow and Tango and I know that he will be an amazing daddy! I feel very blessed for the wonderful men that God has brought into my life! Happy Fathers Day!!!

Drumroll Please.....................

I am so excited to share, I lost 15.8lbs. Yes you are reading that correctly. I almost fell off the scale myself and got back on 3 times to verify that I had really lost 15.8lbs. So I guess I can tell you all that when I started this I weight 314lbs. Yes I know its a ridiculous weight and I should never have let it get to that point. Now I weigh 298.2, its been at least 6mths since I had weighed under 300lbs. Possibly a year, I can remember getting to about this point a year ago, when I was trying to loose weight the first time. And that had taken me weeks. So with only 1 week, I am pretty happy. Okay I am beyond happy I am ecstatic!!!!

My goal for a month which is still 3 weeks away, is 20lbs. I think I will definitely be making my goal this week and hopefully then some!!! Only 4.2 to go! I am so excited and I finally figured out what I want my special to be when I get there. I am going to ask Matt to get me the Season 2 of Warehouse 13. It comes out next Tuesday and since I am having surgery that Monday he will have to pick it up for me. So I guess that means I have to loose 4.2 this week! I figure after loosing 15.8, 4.2 is a breeze. LOL, eating all this nasty food and making my body hurt like its never hurt before is so worth it!!!!

Have a wonderful day!

Friday for some, Monday for me!

I had to go back to work today, thank goodness yesterday was my day off. I wouldn't have been able to walk into work. I am still extremely sore today, but feeling better about it. I went grocery shopping after work, probably not my best idea to date. But I made it through it. Of course as I told Tina(my personal trainer) on the phone today, I almost didn't make it inside with the groceries. LOL, stairs are still very hard when you are in pain.

I was excited after my talk with Tina though, she said since I had walked around Target for over an hour that counted as my workout. I am still thinking I will get on the elliptical for at least 10 min or maybe go for a walk around the block with the hubby and doggie. The last option is sounding the most fun to me. She also said as long as we eat dinner before 6/7 my free meal can be dinner instead. Which helps a lot when I am not off weekends, cause I wanna be able to share my free meal with the hubby. He really misses his meatball subs. I know this cause he mentioned them yesterday. The man is so adorable!!

Well tomorrow is the big weigh in. Here is hoping for the best!!!!! I am sure it will go wonderfully. I am excited to make it through week 1. Then I will only have 11 to go till we can mix in a few different food items. Have a blessed day! And remember all things can be done thru Christ whom strengthens you!

Tough day.... Thank goodness for MOM

Today has been a very rough day! My exercise yesterday was all about my legs. And well I feel like I want to die. Like seriously this hurts so bad. It hurts to bend over, cause my back is killing me and it hurts to try to sit on the sofa, cause getting up takes all my strength to overcome the pain.

I felt like quitting today, not so much cause of the exercise, but I am sure that has a little to do with it. But because of the food. I don't even necessarily want to eat bad, but I want to eat better tasting foods. I am on such a strict and in my opinion bland diet, that I am well overwhelmed by it. I just want a little spice, but have been told no for now. That I have to make it 12 weeks, before we add any of that in. 12 weeks seems like forever, when I am not even done with the 1st one. Which problem makes this seem so stupid to already be feeling this way, but ugghhh.. I am already a picky eater and I am eating literally the same things day after day. I am bored already.

I called Mom tonite, I just didn't feel like keeping going. The only thing that has been keeping me going at this point is thinking about my free lunch Saturday when I can eat whatever I want. Food has such a hold over me, its so dumb but it does. I keep thinking do I want chipolte chicken nachos from Houlihans, or so I want a cheeseburger or even a sub sandwich. Thank goodness for Mom, she talked to me telling me I can do this and just think about how much better I will feel in 12 weeks, and that well think about all the things I will be able to do.

So..... at this point I am persevering. Satan is trying to keep me in his strong hold and pulling me to food. But I will not let him get a hold of me. I am a child of God and I can do this because I have God with me and I will not forget that! So if anyone is reading this, if well you could say a little prayer of strength for me that would be great. Cause well now I have to stand up and I am so not looking forward to the pain. But hey cant loose weight and get healthy without some pain!

Whoops I missed a day!

Whoops, I was a little bit tired and totally spaced off writing yesterday. There is not much to recap of yesterday, cept maybe that I wasn't as sore as I thought I would be. Of course with that said, by the end of the night my knees were killing me going up and down the stairs. But I will survive :)

I say all this and I woke up this morning feeling a whole lost sorer than yesterday. I am off today, which will be a nice change. I am planning on going to personal trainers to be tortured some more. Just Kidding! Of course she says she isn't working me as hard as she will be when my arm is better. So that is just a plan scary thought. LOL!

I did weigh on the scale yesterday and it shows me to be 3.8lbs lighter. Of course I am sure a lot of that is water weight. With this new diet that she has me on I feel like I am eating non stop, due to the snacks she has me have, so it feels like from 7-7 I am eating every other hour or so. I am so not used to eating small meals multiple times a day. But so far I haven't been starving and I haven't been hungry. I am not completely craving anything, although I have gave the loan candy bar a thought. But hey that's what my cheat lunch on Saturday is :). Hope you all have a blessed day!

I Survived!

We made it through the first workout! I am very excited to say for the first time in years I worked out for 1 hour! LOL, what an accomplishment! Tina had me do intervals, 2 minutes on elliptical and then worked my arms and then 2 minutes on elliptical, and continued this rotation for the hour. I am definitely worn out and tired, but for the first time in many years I feel GOOD!

I am glad I got to talk to her though, cause I didn't realize that once a week at lunch time I get to have a cheat lunch, where I can eat whatever it was I have been craving. Well at least within reason, it will be nice to eat something other then healthy stuff 24/7 but I am enjoying the healthy stuff as well.

Well off to get dinner going! God Bless!

Day 2: Apprehension

I am a little nervous today! It is the first day I am meeting with my Personal Trainer and I am not sure about it. I am sure it will go wonderfully, but I hate make that HATE with capital H, working out! I have never liked it and am really not excited to do it. With this said, I know that God will give me strength and I will make it through it.

I know this because of Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through him that strengthens me. I take comfort in to me what seems to be a promise. For without God I can not do anything. He is my strength and my rock. He has granted me so much and has at times carried me, because I have not been able to keep going without his strength.

I am going to get through this first day with the trainer, and then the next and each to follow after and because of God's promise and love.

Day 1 of the life change...

Actually I must say it has been a hard hard day, but all in all pretty successful. I will admit I did eat 2 Doritos. But in my defense I made it through an entire birthday party that had cupcakes and ice cream and all I ate extra was the 2 Doritos. So I think that was pretty good.

I think the hardest and worst things in the world was the first protein shakes I had to have today. It didn't go over well, it was very gross and made me sick. Within minutes of starting to drink it, I got a headache and started to get very nauseous. It was not a good thing. Thankfully I had 2 different ones to try, the second one was a Whey Protein shake and it was pretty good. It didn't make me sick, and I was able to talk to wonderful Tina my personal trainer and she said I didn't have to worry about it, I could sub out the 1st shake with the Whey one. Thank goodness cause that was not pretty.

Well praise God I have made it through the first day, and hopefully will survive many more. They are not easy and I am so very tired, but I know each one will get better! Luvs!!

Anticipation!!!!

Well tomorrow is the big day, our big life change starts tomorrow. I am nervous and excited and so unsure but so ready for the big change! Today we had to pick up this Elite Whey Protein stuff, which I will make into a shake. I am apprehensive and almost passed out when I saw how expensive it was, but I think we will be ok. LOL, this is definitely an adventure.

Matt has been so amazing and supportive through this whole thing. He has been so amazing, and such a rock! He has kept me grounded and focused on God, I cant thank him enough for how supportive he is. The day I found out about the weight loss he was so sweet, he brought me home a bouquet of beautiful flowers. Flowers are one of my big weaknesses!

Today we started talking about in a way rewarding for goals. Of course the biggest reward will be the baby of our dreams! But it is kind of nice to have little goals and rewards on the journey. I have no idea though what to make them, or even ask for. :) I think we are going to do it based on 20lb goals, each time we reach one we get a special that is not food!!! I say we cause Matt is 100% going through this with me. Plus he needs to loose 10 lbs himself he has said, so now we both need to be loosing weight.

We have also put T on a diet as well, due to the fact he is 12 lbs over the highest weight for his breed. So the Hobbs family is on a life change to becoming a healthy fit family!
God Bless You All!!!!

Day 3.... And so very thankful!

So this is the third day in a row, that I have posted. And I will try to keep it up so that those who wanna know about this adventure and faith driven life change is going. I had an appointment with the fertility specialist today, it went very nicely! It has been a some what overwhelming month and I have definitely felt at times that I had reached my maximum peak of how much I could handle. So I was supposed to have a biopsy done this month to see if I have endometriosis, I talked to the doctor today and asked him if we could put it off a couple months, so I could get the weight loss goal going. He said that yes that would be fine and I am so thankful. I really was dreading the fact that I might have something else the matter. So with that said, I am sitting here writing this drinking one of my last soda pop's that I will have for a long time, maybe forever. And looking forward to whats to come, I am actually excited to loose weight!!!

I do want to say a big THANK YOU to all my wonderful friends and family!!!! I have received so many encouraging words and emails!!! You all are amazing, and I cant thank you enough for all of it. Its whats going to get me through this weight loss adventure is my amazing friends, family and the Almighty God! I feel so blessed to have all the support in the world!

With all that I am going through it made me think of this passage, and I wanted to share this with you all!

Isaiah 41:10: Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.

Hope you all have a wonderful day and keep God close to your heart, he is always with you!

Well.... Okay I guess we will just go along :)

Well today Matt and I decided that I will start working with a PERSONAL TRAINER, this Monday will be my first session with Tina. Who is amazing and is a friend of my mothers! I am really looking forward to this and she even put together a food plan for me, so that well we can start losing and getting fit. Cause I wanna loose this 115lbs, in no more then a year. And I know I can do it, if I just trust in God and keep trying my best.

Of course we decided all of this, and then well.... I hurt my shoulder I guess it would have been around last June. I raced my sister across the pool( I won, so worth it) and somehow I strained my shoulder, well after they tried meds, shots, physical therapy, and then finally seeing a specialist it has been decided that this month on the 27th I will be having surgery. LOL, what next :) With all that said I am actually excited that I may be able to put my clothes on without pain, so it will be worth it.

I talked to Tina and we are still good to go! We will just have to focus more on other parts of my body, while my arm heals. So starting Sunday, cause I have to clean all the junk out of the house and go shopping for healthy stuff, Matt and I, mainly him because he is so awesome and supportive our starting the life change to parenthood!!! I never ever thought I would be looking forward and excited to be doing this, but hey when it involves me getting to be a mommy, I am ready to take on the world.

I am excited to see what adventure God is leading us on!!! Who knows what is going to happen next. But I know I have my wonderful family and friends by my side cheering us on!!! Thank you all for all your wonderful and caring support! Did I mention my amazing hubby brought me flowers yesterday to cheer me up, since well 115lbs seemed like a whole lot more yesterday then it does today! Maybe just maybe you should all be on the lookout for new and improved Dana! LOL!!! Talk to ya all soon!

Patience and Prayer

For those who know me, know that well..... I am so not a patient person. But God has taught me that sometimes the best thing to be is patient. I was not ready at 18 to be married, nor was I at 25. When all sorts of people I knew were getting married and settling down, I was well Single. Most of the time, completely content, but at the same time impatient for the man I knew God had out there for me. And well I did eventually get to meet him, fall in love and marry him. Matt is everything I could ever want in a spouse and he is my rock. God knew I needed someone that had amazing patience that we would need in the years to come. Matt and I both come from believing families and we met at church. He is the spiritual leader of our home just as God has willed him to be. Matt and I celebrated our 2nd year of Marriage April 4th and it was amazing. But at the same time a crossroads for us. Since January of the year before we have been trying to have a baby. We are looking forward to bringing life into this world, and raising them in the same loving and belief driven homes we grew up in.

Not long after we started our baby journey, we learned that I have PCOS. Poly cystic Ovary Disease, is essentially as I understand it a disease in which your bodies hormones are out of balance. This causes many problems, including difficulty getting pregnant. So we tried with the help of a very nice and wonderful Nurse Practitioner and Doctor, thru the use of a medicine called Clomid to get pregnant. Now fast forward to last month towards the end. We still have had no luck with the medicine, so we were recommended to a Fertility Specialist. Which of course made my heart drop. All I could think is how can we afford this. When I called they said that the consultation would be $400.00, I thought this is never going to happen, but gave her my insurance information and Matt and I prayed that if we were meant to go to this doctor that the visit would be under $50.00, and just as it happens God answers prayers and through the fact I am on Matt's insurance as well as my own, the visit was only $40.00.

Dr. Zamah is an amazing doctor and we had our consultation with him and a few tests done. Just when we felt there was a light at the end of the tunnel, we were zapped back to earth. During my test on Monday, Dr. Zamah discovered that my right Fallopian tube is blocked. With this said, I was in shock. So often feeling like nothing was going our way or was going to be easy. Then today the biggest shocker came when Dr. Zamah told me that I needed to loose 65lbs. before he would do surgery and before assisting us to get pregnant he wanted me to loose 115lbs. To people not in this situation they can not completely understand how my feet were pulled out from under me. 115lbs, is not a walk in the park nor is it easy to even fathom achieving. But thru God and the loving support I am going to do this. And we will succeed one way or the other. Either I will get preggos or I will get to be a healthy and a wonderful mother to the child we decide to adopt. I know that God will provide a child for us one way or the other and that I have to be strong and keep faith.

He is always there for me and always will be. I can't thank God enough for sending me such a loving and compassionate man to be there holding my hand as we begin this journey. Until then, I will continue to be a happy mommy to my amazing dog Tango and cat Meow!