If its one thing I know about myself is I do not do good at waiting. I am one of those people who love roller coasters but can't take the anticipation of getting to the top. I start freaking out once the climb gets past 10 seconds. I hate the wait! So what does this have to do with anything... well I will tell ya.
Matt and I just got back from vacation on the 16th. We were supposed to be available to receive kids that day. Well somehow the fact we weren't available before then didn't get passed on and we received our first call on the 10th. This just about tore my heart to pieces. We found out just the basics but the one that hit me the hardest was it was a newborn.
The one thing Matt and I really want to experience thru this is a hope to for even a short time parent a baby. Now I know without a doubt that God has a plan and that this was obviously not the child he has planned for us, but that doesn't mean it didn't just feel like I had punched/slapped.
Obviously God knows that this is my biggest and hardest weakness. Cause well he sent me a rock in Matt. He has been so patient and wonderful through this whole process and as each day is passing without our first placement and I want to get mad or upset he brings me back down and reminds me that God has a plan. He is an amazing man and my rock.
So I am trying very hard not to be anxious and to be patient as we wait for that call. As with all things in my life God is in charge and I need to keep that first and foremost in my mind.
God Bless You All!
Dana
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